One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger.
The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!”
He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples.
The disciples were doing exactly what Jesus told them to do. They weren’t out of His will, they were directly in His will. He said to go to the other side of the lake and they obeyed. He neglected to mention that there would be a storm of such fierceness as they have not encountered before. These were seasoned fishermen, well aware of how to handle a boat and a storm, but this was out of their skill set. Turning to Jesus, they found Him sleeping.
Ever feel that way? That your life is spinning out of control and God is where???? Doing what exactly???
I have. I asked these questions after my husband took his life. He was a Christian and was spiraling downward and inward due to bipolar disorder and finally gave up. I couldn’t bring myself to ask God why He seemed to have done nothing to stop my husband but I certainly felt the angst of not knowing. I am still in the process of making peace with the why, what, where questions and I am reasonably sure I won’t find the answers I seek.
This passage from scriptures turns it back on me, however. Jesus, waking up from a nap, turns to his freaked out disciples and asks where was their faith. I believe He could ask me the same question. And rightfully so.
The disciples had no good excuse. Neither do I. They had lived with Him, followed Him, observed Him perform mighty miracles. I have too have lived with Him, followed Him and been the recipient of mighty miracles. And yet, when the wind started howling and the waves started pounding and the boat started rocking and my husband slipped further and further away, instead of exercising our faith, we questioned God.
Faith took a backseat to the evidences around us. What we knew to be true about Jesus somehow took a backseat as well. The disciples saw with their eyes the waves and the winds and felt powerless. I saw with my eyes my husband of twenty-three years slipping away. And we all apparently took our eyes off Jesus.
Hebrews 12: 2 tells us that Jesus is the author and perfecter of our faith. Perfecting our faith is His job, keeping our eyes on Him and trusting the outcome to Him is our job.
Gracious Father, forgive me for the doubts and the questions and the pulling away. I am sorry for not exercising my faith, for letting what my eyes saw be more real to me than You. You alone can guide me through the storms of life. Help me to remember that You are in the boat with me and I am not alone. In Jesus’s name, amen.
I would love to hear from you. Please let me know if I can be praying for you as well.
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