Let not your hearts be troubled.

Believe in God; believe in Me also.

John 14:1

Why God, why?

When God, when?

How God, how?

Where God, where?

Ever cry out to God with questions like that? I certainly have. One night during a time of chronic pain that lasted years, I had this dream:

I was sitting down face to face with Jesus. I was asking him all my questions about healing. He patiently answered every single one and it took a very long time. I knew I would never be able to remember all of this and I really wanted to because it was so amazing. I needed to write the answers down, surely other people would want to know this. So I found a scroll of papyrus and began writing and writing and writing. But as soon as I wrote, the roll began disintegrating. I wrote faster, it disintegrated faster, and I wrote faster still, and it just disintegrated faster still. I was getting frantic. How could I be healed if I couldn’t remember what He said. How could I tell people all of this if I couldn’t keep the paper intact.  Finally, the scroll just dissolved.

All the answers were gone—vanished. None even remained in my memory. I looked up from my empty hands and saw Jesus sitting there smiling at me.

Then I woke up.

Seems I had been asking the wrong questions. 

Instead of asking why, how, when, where, I should have been asking who. 

And the answer is Jesus. When all else fades away, the answer is Jesus. 

When the doctors can’t answer my questions, the answer is Jesus.

When the doctors offer no hope, the answer is Jesus.

Too many times when the diagnosis comes, or the pain comes, or the symptoms are screaming at me, I tend to ask all the wrong questions. I need to trade the why, when, how questions and ask the one that really matters. I should be asking who. And the answer is Jesus. I tend to look at everything but Jesus. My focus is on me, on my pain, on my limitations, on my symptoms, on my ability to do all the spiritual disciplines the faith healers tell me I need to do to build my faith so that I will have enough faith to be healed. Enough!

I don’t need the answers written on that scroll, the answers He gave me that night in my dream.

I need to remember one answer and one answer only: JESUS. And all the other questions will be silenced.

Jesus, You were then and You still are today the only answer that satisfies the unanswerable questions in my life. Jesus, the same yesterday, today, and forever. The God that healed me then and the God that heals me now, thank You. All that is good and right and healed about my life is because of You and words like thank You sound so inadequate. How do I thank someone for saving my life, for giving meaning to my life? How do I thank someone for the healings that have already been manifested in my life or a loved one’s life? Thank You for being the answer to the deepest longings of my heart. Amen.

I would love to hear from you. Please let me know if I can be praying for you as well.

pic credit: positiveheartbeat.com